{"id":82,"date":"2011-07-14T17:43:23","date_gmt":"2011-07-14T21:43:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/?p=82"},"modified":"2011-08-06T09:26:54","modified_gmt":"2011-08-06T13:26:54","slug":"make-it-so","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/?p=82","title":{"rendered":"Make it so!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Shortly after Independence Day had come and gone, my son, Erik and I left the relative cool of our home and dared to endure the dreadful heat of midsummer in the South to go on a series of purchasing-related errands.<\/p>\n

This was a chore. Erik and I dislike shopping for just about anything except odd spices, variants of dahl, and music.<\/p>\n

We especially detest having to buy small and stupid items, like plastic organizers. On the other hand, these things are often necessary. The recent rediscovery of bagged buttons had inspired me to sort the same. Now, I needed a plastic organizer.<\/p>\n

So we waited until other errands of similar ilk presented themselves. They did so on a day that measured 100 degrees in the shade.<\/p>\n

After sweating, cooling, shopping, and sweating, we ended our excursion at a local hobby center.\u00a0 Upon entering, we were greeted by large orange objects, which turned out to be stacked plastic pumpkins.<\/p>\n

I noted that it was not yet mid-July.<\/p>\n

\u201cHalloween is just around the corner!\u201d Erik said cheerfully.<\/p>\n

I made a face, muttered to myself and we pressed on. We discovered the wall filled with said plastic organizers, and bought two.<\/p>\n

On the way out, we were greeted by large stacks of silvery balls. I stopped short.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, look!\u201d Erik said. \u201cIt\u2019s the Captain Picard Christmas ornaments!<\/p>\n

The packages were labeled: \u201cMake it so! Christmas ornaments.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the\u2026?\u201d I said. \u201cI am reading this right, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s July!\u201d Erik announced. \u201cBut it\u2019s Christmas! Make it so!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStop talking in exclamation points. You sound like a listserve I subscribe to. Every email has at least three exclamation points for every five sentences.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA hostile listserve has been spotted. Unsubscribe, captain?\u201d Erik asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cMake it so!\u201d I replied firmly.<\/p>\n

We pressed on toward the checkout counter.<\/p>\n

As the cashier rang up our purchase, Erik and I watched a second cashier unpacking Christmas ornaments. She held one up for our cashier to admire. It was a metal strawberry, coated in the sort of paint that was meant to evoke chocolate.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s another one I\u2019m going to try and snag,\u201d our cashier said.<\/p>\n

\u201cUh huh,\u201d the other woman agreed. \u201cMakes me hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n

I tried not to look at Erik. He appeared to be making the same effort. We left the store.<\/p>\n

\u201cWow,\u201d Erik said. \u201cMakes even us Jews want to put Christ back into Christmas.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Shortly after Independence Day had come and gone, my son, Erik and I left the relative cool of our home and dared to endure the dreadful heat of midsummer in the South to go on a series of purchasing-related errands.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"yes","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[24,22,28,21,27],"class_list":["post-82","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-captain-picard","tag-christians","tag-christmas","tag-jews","tag-plastic-organizers"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/82","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=82"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"https:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/82\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":224,"href":"https:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/82\/revisions\/224"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=82"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=82"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=82"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}