{"id":1553,"date":"2016-12-27T12:03:51","date_gmt":"2016-12-27T16:03:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/?p=1553"},"modified":"2016-12-27T12:03:51","modified_gmt":"2016-12-27T16:03:51","slug":"authenticity-and-the-sacred-thanks-to-katyah-gohr","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/?p=1553","title":{"rendered":"Authenticity and the Sacred: Thanks to Katyah Gohr"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Our seminary teachers taught us: Authenticity is a channel for spirituality. Don\u2019t produce yourselves; be yourselves. You aren\u2019t making a statement, you are embodying one.<\/p>\n

This month, rabbinic pastor and chazzan Katyah Gohr flew to Chicago, bringing her tallit and her guitar. There she did exactly what our teachers had taught us to do. She was, simply, herself.<\/p>\n

Authenticity can be revealed in all sorts of ways, of course, but it shows up most clearly when something altogether unexpected occurs in the course of a service. Something did go awry on Katyah\u2019s watch as she officiated the marriage of my son, Erik Henning Thiede and my new daughter, Serafina Ha Kim.<\/p>\n

And it was my fault.<\/p>\n

The ceremony had been unfolding with tender and gentle surprises. There was the Rumi poem Erik had asked Katyah to read before he and Serafina drank from a shared Kiddush cup.<\/p>\n

The Lovers
\nwill drink wine night and day.
\nThey will drink until they can
\ntear away the veils of intellect and
\nmelt away the layers of shame and modesty.
\nWhen in Love,
\nbody, mind, heart and soul don’t even exist.
\nBecome this,
\nfall in Love,
\nand you will not be separated again.<\/em><\/p>\n

There was Katyah\u2019s soft singing of beloved phrases from Hosea in Hebrew:<\/p>\n

I betroth you to me forever.
\nI betroth you to me with steadfast love and compassion.
\nI betroth you to me in faithfulness.
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

There were Erik and Serafina\u2019s vows, so deeply felt that time itself seemed to pause during the reading. Recognizing the moment, Katyah first asked the two if they were fully willing to receive each other\u2019s vows and then, in the very center of the ceremony, to kiss.It was a hatima, <\/em>a seal.\u00a0 We all felt it; we witnessed the truth of love \u2013 sacred, peaceful, and whole.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a> \"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Just a few minutes later, the rabbi mother (me) unintentionally managed to bring a sudden halt to the ceremony.<\/p>\n

I was sitting very near the table where various accoutrements for the ceremony were located. I glanced over about and noticed the wine glass that Erik was to break. It was standing, covered by the napkin we had brought to wrap it in.<\/p>\n

Imagining the horror of shards all over the floor where we planned to dance all night and supposing that the participants had simply forgotten to wrap the glass, I reached, as discretely as possible, to take the glass, wrap it up, and replace it on the table.<\/p>\n

Erik saw my gesture. Katyah saw Erik\u2019s look, and both uttered involuntary exclamations. \u201cNo,\u201d Erik said, though he was smiling. \u201cDon\u2019t. It\u2019s all right.\u201d<\/p>\n

Katyah walked out from under the chuppah. \u201cNot yet!\u201d she said, and gently took the glass, still covered by the napkin, and set it back on the table.<\/p>\n

I was mortified (and confused). I tried to refocus.<\/p>\n

Katyah, of course, already had. She sang the Priestly Blessing. She spoke about Miryam, of her dance, of her connection with mayyim chayyim<\/em>, the waters of life. She read another Rumi poem Erik had selected.<\/p>\n

The beauty of the heart
\nis the lasting beauty:
\nits lips give to drink
\nof the water of life.<\/em><\/p>\n

Truly it is the water,
\nthat which pours,
\nand the one who drinks.
\nAll three become one when
\nyour talisman is shattered.
\nThat oneness you can’t know
\nby reasoning.<\/p>\n

Then she returned to the table, grinned at me, and with a gentle but perceptible flourish, she lifted the napkin off the glass, and presented the wine glass to Erik and Serafina. It was filled with water.<\/p>\n

I laughed, my husband, Ralf, chuckled, and guests smiled. The couple drank, and Katyah brought the empty glass back to me with the napkin.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow,\u201d she said. \u201cNow<\/em> you wrap it up.\u201d<\/p>\n

Carefully, tightly, I wrapped up the glass, and a few moments later Erik smashed it without the slightest shard escaping. Katyah picked up her guitar and played Siman Tov. We all stood up to celebrate the couple, the line dance started, and we danced with abandon.<\/p>\n

I was Katyah\u2019s roommate at nearly every retreat and workshop for all the years I was in the rabbinic program at ALEPH, the Alliance for Jewish Renewal. I knew her good sense, her unassuming way of, simply, being herself when she led a service or sang a niggun. She has known Erik for well over a decade, since he was fourteen. They have sung together \u2013 even co-led services together. He knew what he was doing when he asked her to officiate his wedding.<\/p>\n

I was not surprised by her authenticity, but by the outcome of it: moments no one will forget because they were both unique and real.<\/p>\n

Thank you Katyah.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Authenticity can be revealed in all sorts of ways, of course, but it shows up most clearly when something altogether unexpected occurs in the course of a service. Something did go awry on Katyah\u2019s watch as she officiated the marriage of my son, Erik Henning Thiede and my new daughter, Serafina Ha Kim.<\/p>\n

And it was my fault.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"yes","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[418,419,420],"class_list":["post-1553","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-authenticity","tag-rumi","tag-wedding"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1553","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1553"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1553\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1563,"href":"https:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1553\/revisions\/1563"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1553"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1553"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adrenalinedrash.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1553"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}